Open Post

[angelpiratebaby]

Thor Odinson Open Post

Profile

Pinterest

✦ Leave a starter, picture prompt, text, or link to a meme you've posted. ✦
✦ Favorite shipping options are Banner, Valkyrie, Jane, and Steve ✦
✦ Canonly usually taken between Ragnarok and Infinity War✦
✦ Prompt ideas: Seasons, in-canon moments or missed scenes ✦
✦ Past game CR welcome! ✦
✦ Please pm or contact on waftingcurtains if you have questions/ideas. ✦
✦ Code from tookthestars ✦

Comments

[angelpiratebaby]

From our people or from Odin? That was real, yes. But you projected that onto me, Loki. It is not how I think of you.

[dothelokimotion]

And how exactly do you think of me?

[angelpiratebaby]

As the other half of myself. Blood does not matter to me. All those centuries together, our entire lives as inseparable brothers, they still mean everything to me. It kills me that you look back and only see the worst parts.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he lets out a shuddering breath. ]

It was just . . . hard to separate the truth and the lies. I couldn't tell the difference. Everything . . . shattered.

[angelpiratebaby]

[ Thor reaches out to put both hands on Loki's shoulders. ]

We were never a lie. I am your brother, and I will be, whether you like it or not, to the day I die.

[dothelokimotion]

. . . Always?

[angelpiratebaby]

Always, Loki.

[ Thor pulls him into a hug. ]

After everything, you still doubt me?

[dothelokimotion]

[ it's more complicated than doubting thor's heart or his intentions. and it's a struggle, even for loki, to put it into words. ]

It's . . . not that.

[angelpiratebaby]

What is it then?

[dothelokimotion]

I doubt my ability to have it.

[angelpiratebaby]

You have always had me, Loki.

[dothelokimotion]

I thought so . . . until I didn't.

[angelpiratebaby]

You did. If you remember, when you invaded Earth, I wanted you to come home with me. I didn't go there to fight you, I've never wanted to fight you.

[dothelokimotion]

I know.

[ loki sighs. ]

Your timing wasn't the best. My fear . . . was stronger. And I had other debts to pay.

[angelpiratebaby]

[ He remembers how desperate he felt. Thor wanted to go back to earth, but not like that, and when he arrived, having thought Loki was dead, he wanted to hold his brother and cry. The fact they went straight to conflict was agonizing. ]

I have lost you twice now. You don't know the nightmares I had, the emptiness in my heart. I kept it on the inside, but it was a wound that never stopped bleeding.

[ Thor had to keep it internal. That was part of their culture too, what was expected of a warrior, and what Odin expected of him. Thor feels very strongly. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ his throat bobs as he stares at his brother wide-eyed. ]

Thor . . .

[angelpiratebaby]

[ Thor sighs and steps back, crossing his arms. ]

Do you know how painful it was to all of a sudden have you hate me? If you see it from my point of view, you went from the most important person in my life to my enemy with no warning, and the loathing you had for me, Loki. It was ... heartbreaking.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki recalls his nightmares, the fear of thor returning home and smashing his head in with a hammer. a monster to be defeated. ]

I know a little of it.

[angelpiratebaby]

Do you still hate me?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki sighs. ]

It was never — never as simple as hate.

[angelpiratebaby]

[ He looks like his heart is breaking again. ]

That's not a no.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki exhales. trying to put his own feelings into words was . . . difficult. no matter how proficient he was at dialogue. he turns to face thor, laying a cool hand upon his cheek. ]

Thor, my world shattered. Whatever certainty I believed in, I lost. And when I looked into Odin's eyes, in everyone's eyes, all I could see was that — they didn't trust me. They never trusted me.

And even your protection, your love . . . it had limits.

[angelpiratebaby]

[ Loki is not usually the one who gives physical affection, that is usually Thor, so he's startled at the hand on his cheek. It's nice though. He always craves affection. ]

You didn't give me a chance. You killed me. And I didn't know why.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki flinches, pulling his hand back to rub at his palms. ]

I know, I panicked. I just needed more time.

[angelpiratebaby]

No, don't ----

[ Thor reaches out to grab his hand and holds it. ]

I am not angry, I am trying to understand. We never talked about any of this.